Today I got some disturbing news at work. A few weeks ago a woman came in to work for the first time. She was one of those customers that needed a lot of help. The simplest tasks seemed beyond her on the computer and looking for books. Add to that the strong alcohol smell on her breath and it was one of those days. I did not see her again for awhile. Until last week when she reappeared. The first day was just at night. Then it was all day. Next it was all day and laying down on the floor reading. Great, one of those customers. I did not see her the last couple of days though. Then today I hear from my supervisor that I won't be seeing her ever again. Turns out she committed suicide by hanging herself.
I find myself having a hard time with this. I only had a few face to face interactions with her. It is not like she was a friend or even a long time regular. So why the problem? It was obvious she had some problems. In dealing with her she would tell me how dumb she was. I would try to explain something and she just kept telling me she could not understand it because she was so dumb. I can't help but wonder if I or my co-workers could have done more? I know that is stupid but I can't help it. It just seems such a waste of a life. We live in such a messed up world...
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5 comments:
the messiah is here!!
it's a hard thing to deal with, but the only way that you could have helped is if she wanted you to help. i know it sucks, but you can't force help onto anyone; if you do that then they may 'rebel' all that much more.
amitabha...
Sad.
As a follow up I heard today that the woman had been hanging around a local church. The people there noticed she did not seem right and offered to help. She refused them. Can't say it made me feel any better but it was nice to see that someone had made an effort to help her.
Ok it is late. I just read my comment and could not believe I used the phrase hanging around considering how she killed herself. Very bad choice of words...
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